All touched out…

19 02 2009

I adore the age difference between my boys (16mos). I really do. K LOVES his little brother. I know there will come a time when our house looks and/or sounds like Fight Club, but, I love that K always has to be near B – holding his hand, hugging him, kissing him, petting his head or just laying next to him. When K wakes up from a nap, he runs to the living room. If B is there, he immediately goes to him, saying “B!!! B!!!!” If he’s not around (ie: napping) he gets very sad, asking, “Where B??”

If I knew then what I know now, we would have planned for B. I know they will drive each other crazy, but will be the best of friends…

However. I’m about to quit today.

B did not want to go to sleep last night. We have this “unspoken” rule between Zach & I – he attends to pre-midnightish needs of the kids (minus breathing treatments – that’s ALL him! lol) and I take anything after that. Around 230 or so, B wanted to nurse (after sleeping for about 20 minutes…after being awake playing and eating for hours before that…) I was way too tired to sit and nurse him, so I just laid in bed and nursed him – I went back to sleep. I woke up at 330ish and he was still nursing. I switched sides and fell back asleep. I woke up at 530 and he was still nursing…

I switched sides again and he just wanted to snuggle, so he was all up in my armpit and whatnot…

This morning, he would only let me hold him in the wrap (he’s usually fine on the floor or the jumperoo – he never has a vocal need to be held all the time – you know, bloody murder screaming…) I finally got him content playing on the floor so I could take care of something – and K wanted to be held…usually a passing 20 second hug is all he wants and he’s off again…but he wanted me to hold him like I’d been holding B all morning.

We eat lunch…I put K down for a nap – he fights it for 30 minutes or so…

He finally goes to sleep…

I’m still working on getting B to sleep…

It takes about 80 minutes to get him to sleep. I let him snooze on my shoulder for a few before putting him in the crib…

The SECOND my hands are off of B…K wakes up screaming…

Really?

I let him CIO (cry it out) for a bit because he’ll usually go back to sleep…but his screaming inevitably woke up B…

Now, all three of us are crying…

I’ve had someone touching me for 12 hours now…I do not like to be touched….(I like my nightly back rub from Zach…but, even I ask him to stop after 20 minutes or so…)

I just. need. to. be. alone. Just for 10 minutes…in silence…without someone sucking on me. breathing on me. touching me. hugging me. drooling on me.

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2 responses

19 02 2009
heather

oh man i can so RELATE to you! there are times i can’t even let dh touch me..lol! hope you get some reprieve from it soon! non-touching hugs mama! hehe

20 02 2009
Farrah

Oh Terra! I read this post yesterday but didn’t get to leave a comment. I have SO been there. I think all moms (if they are being honest) have moments like those. It gets so tiring to have a little person attached to you (literally) all day with no break to pee or sleep. I have been there, actually I AM there. You just have to continually remind yourself that this is a season. Life won’t always look like this or be this hard. Give yourself the room to feel frustrated and not feel guilty about it. It doesn’t make us bad moms to need our personal space. In fact, I find I am a better mom to my boys when I do have some “me” time.
I know you know all this and just needed to vent. I do it all the time. And I know that one day like this doesn’t mean squat!! You are an awesome mom who had a rough day. You love your boys and love everything about them. You don’t need to justify your rough day. I get it. Moms everywhere have days just like that.
Be encouraged. You are not alone. And you can vent anytime you need to ‘cuz it sometimes helps to just be “heard.”
Blessings, girly!! Take some time for you!!

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